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Showing posts from May, 2015

A Day To Remember

This post has excerpts from my original post on this day last year.

It's May 31st. This day is so special to me because it's the day I became a mother. This day is celebrated as what our family affectionately calls "Gotcha Day." It's the day a tiny baby boy, just 3 weeks old and still in preemie clothes, was placed in my arms by the girl who gave him life. 

She was just 15, yet somehow she seemed braver than me. I was trying to be aware of everything. Up until the moment I walked into that lawyer's office in Ohio, I had only seen a glimpse of him in a small, blurry photo. I will never forget the memory as long as I live. I was so nervous, so worried I wouldn't know what to do, so scared about the reality that was sinking in.I hoped she wouldn't see my fear and say I was unfit. I looked at her first. She sat calmly as she held him. She seemed void of emotion, yet I knew the impact of it all would forever etch this moment in her mind for different reasons…

This Isn't About Sin

This isn't about sin. It's not about forgiveness. It's not about grace. It's not even about innocence or guilt. It's not about what I've heard or what's been reported. It's not about the version of truth you choose to believe, because, let's be honest, how much can you really trust the multiple versions in the media? It's not about who you know that's been affected by something similar. I know them too. I just don't know anything other than varying degrees of reports that seem to make assumptions and cast judgments on something that we simply can't know the full details. Quite frankly it's about the simple fact that who am I to judge? 

I certainly am thankful my sins and my family aren't being cast into the media and portrayed for all to see and judge. Heaven help me if that were the case. I deserve punishment. I deserve judgment. I deserve the repercussions of my sins. I've received overwhelming mercy and undeserved favor…

Always Good

"You look pregnant!" my husband exclaimed. I laughed and thanked him. It's a compliment these days. I feel I've successfully escaped the awkward "has she gained weight/is she pregnant?" guessing stage. Every week is a momentous milestone we stop and give thanks for. I count each day as a blessing.

Today is May 20. It's a beautiful, warm sunny day. On this day I'm mindful of the original due date I was given back in the fall when we first learned we were expecting. It's not a day full of sadness, although I'm very well aware that it could be. Circumstances have obviously changed and what I'm more aware of is how my own plan isn't necessarily God's plan. And that's okay. I can't be quite certain as to why and I certainly don't have all the answers. I can't even grasp His calendar or the infinite time table He has and how (or when) He chooses to work. I simply trust in His sovereignty and His promise to work ALL thin…

Titles

This is one of my most favorite weekends of the entire year! Oh yes, there's always a fun countdown to my February Birthday and it goes without saying that I thoroughly enjoy all the festivities of the Christmas season. But I cannot deny my love for what has become such a sacred and blessed weekend to me.

Tomorrow is Elijah's 7th birthday and Sunday is Mother's Day. It always falls on or around the holiday that he gave me the most treasured gift of all, becoming a mother. This year his birthday falls on the day that is known as Birthmother's Day. I would be remiss not to give thanks to his birthmom for the gift of life and this gift of love she's given. I tend to get sentimental as I recall how many previous Mother's Days I wasn't able to celebrate. I remember vividly the journey that led to his adoption. I wear the title of mother along with the memories and altars I've built to never forget the many different emotions and experiences that brought me h…