And so the story goes. I was scrolling through Pinterest looking for recipes, making my weekly meal plan and working on the grocery list I would need to accomplish these artful dishes. A beautiful spring wreath. Hand-crafted valentines. 101 creative ways to play with your baby. Fit and fab workouts. The more I scrolled through pins, the more depressed I became. "I wish I could be more Pinterest worthy." My husband wasn't about to step into this one. I got a look that said he loved and supported me but my musings weren't founded. But I knew what I meant. I'm not blogging about my amazing creations, sharing tips and tricks, offering new ideas and recipes I just "whipped up" because of my creative genius. My attempts to pin my interests were driving me to feel like I failed. It wasn't that I had attempted and failed at some Pinterest project. This was much bigger than that. This was me feeling like a homemaking failure.
The truth is I've made a lot of the Pinterest projects that peaked my interest. Science experiments on snow days, new recipes that turned out to be family favorites, class treats for the school celebrations. I can actually say I've made things I am proud of. I was enjoying down time on a Saturday with my family and somehow feeling like I should be making, baking, crafting or doing something. I felt my inner monologue speaking "Put the iPad down. Step away from Pinterest."
And so I closed the iPad and got down on the floor where my baby was enjoying her playmat. I pulled out a toy and laid eyeball to eyeball with her until she gave me the biggest grin. It lights up her whole face when she smiles like that and it made me realize there's no photograph on Pinterest that could capture that joy. I sat and talked with my husband - actual verbal words in conversation - and I became aware of the fact that no time was better spent. Sure, I could have made a craft and posted my photo for the "world" to like and approve of, but instead I gained his admiration by simply being present. We snuggled as a family on the couch enjoying each other and our time together.
Today I learned the art of conversation. I mastered the recipe of quality time mixed with love and affection. Instead of tackling to do lists, I played a game of tickle monster and heard the cutest belly laugh of any kid. I don't have any pictures to share because I was too busy living in the moments and making them my own personal memories rather than preoccupied by documenting them. Today my Pinterest project became living life - my not-so-post-worthy-life.