"During difficult times, your natural tendency is to rely heavily on your own understanding. However, your human understanding is not up to this task; it will fail you time and again. You have every reason to be confident in Me. I am the Creator and Sustainer of the universe and I am in charge of every aspect of your life." - Jesus Today
Do I believe that? One thing I've learned about faith without works is that it is in fact dead. Sure, my head knows that it's true but my actions (and let's be honest, most of the time it's my knee-jerk reactions) say something different. Can I say with full faith that even in the difficult times, I am willing to let God be God and rest in knowing He's in control of every aspect of my life?
If I'm being honest I have to admit this is an ongoing struggle for me. It's at the core of what I wrestle with in my humanity. The battle to release my inhibitions, fears, anxieties, and allow Him complete control. Truthfully, there's a better chance of Him having to pry it from my clinched-fist rather than my willing surrender. Too often I try to run interference thinking He somehow needs my help. If only I would recognize the interference I am to the plan He has.
We live in a broken world. Our hearts and flesh fail. Period. We can't get around it. People hurt us. Life happens. Disappointments come. Plans change and hopes fail. There are different seasons for everything. Life, love, friendship, jobs, desires... But only ONE remains constant and never faltering and that is the Sovereign God and Creator of us all. He planned each of our days and set us as living stones exactly where He purposes us to be. My response to His will has to be that of genuine faith. Not the kind that requires action but the kind that believes without reservation or inhibition that God is God and that He is working in each and every single aspect of my life.
Can I do it... Can I have that kind of faith... Even when my heart is aching and the emotional tug of war causes me to be gripped with fears and anxiety... Even when nothing makes sense and things just don't add up... Even when life throws a curveball that takes me out of the game...
Jesus asks me to lay down my life for His sake (John 13:38). What that tangibly looks like is walking with Him in the day-to-day, moment-by-moment instances that seek to steal my joy and strip me of my faith. Crawling back on the altar over and over again, each and every time I get off. It's choosing to rest in Him even when things around me are completely out of control. It's being confident of the good work He began and trusting He will see it through to completion. Even when it's hard. Even when what is right before me doesn't seem or feel good at all. Even when my human understanding can't make sense of it.
My faith needs feet firmly planted in the truth that He is in fact in control of every aspect of my life even when the ground beneath me is quaking and crumbling. This is the kind of faith I want, the kind of faith I haven't yet achieved. But when my feet do give way and my faith falls short, I rest on His infallible grace that holds me even still.
Increase my faith, Lord. Help my unbelief. Help me not be blinded by my circumstances. Give me eyes to see You.