My Source for Joy

"...in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit." 1 Thessalonians 1:6b

It hit me square between the eyes today. I was praying for wisdom and discernment, asking the Holy Spirit to guide me and fill me. You see, the truth is I haven't really felt myself lately. I'm not really sure how to describe it other than feeling my usual joyful self slipping back and forth into this feeling of sadness and despair. It looks and feels like a lot of different things and quite truthfully I'm sure it's different for each person. Chalk it up to grief and sorrow, being overwhelmed or simply being burdened by things I can only pray about, but it's been an unusual place for me and I'm learning how to navigate it. 

I've only shared these feelings with a few close people, all of whom have given me the freedom to just feel whatever I'm feeling while offering an extension of comfort. No one has told me to just get over it and be happy. This resonates much deeper than feelings of happiness. It is the Christmas season, after all, and the Spirit of Christmas should be alive and well...but it's been hard for me to find so far this year. 

I know exactly what to do. I know the place to go and how to draw upon the strength I need. I've read, studied, memorized scriptures to be my source and sustainment. It's come down to that place of knowing and acting upon what you know. Even when you don't feel like it. 

So today as I was deep into study about the gifts and work of the Holy Spirit, I stumbled upon this word. 

"In spite of severe suffering." 

I love that this translation understands the depth and severity of pain and suffering - not just sadness but feelings of angst and trauma. In my mind it says to me this isn't just a problem today and a miracle tomorrow. This resonates with me that the extremity of this suffering is a journey. No matter what I face or am feeling, regardless of what I'm going through, even then could I welcome with joy the message from the Lord? I paused here for a long time. It's a tough question to ask, an even harder one to answer. But there's a truth in this verse that can't be overlooked. 

"With the joy given by the Holy Spirit." 

It's not by my own strength or feelings. It's not dependent upon what I'm facing or going through. It is divinely and supernaturally given by the Holy Spirit. I dare say, by my own interpretation and understanding, it's so much more than the gift of joy. It's hope, peace, comfort, strength, endurance, perseverance, and so much more. It's whatever we need in the moment we need it because we have the gift of the Holy Spirit in and through us and the ability to call upon that which isn't natural or available in our own strength - or should I say weakness. 

"You welcomed the message."

The message is the Gospel and the Word of God doesn't return void, which is why this is such a powerful word. Because whatever suffering or struggle we face, we have the gift of joy given by the Holy Spirit to empower us. I can't neglect this part of the verse because then it would remove the context of the Word of God that was being spread and shared in spite of hardship, persecution, and trials. If others were to give witness to my testimony, even in my feelings of sadness and sorrow, trouble or trial, pain or persecution, would they be able to say that my life was a testimony of the Gospel? Here's one deeper - would I be able to welcome the hardships for the purpose of bringing glory to God? That's a tough one to swallow but not lost in this passage.

If I'm going to claim the work and gifts of the Holy Spirit in my life then I have to be willing to accept whatever circumstances may surround the very reason I need to draw upon Him and His strength. The reality is in my own strength I forget I have need of His supernatural work in my life. It's not because of Him I suffer but it is because of Him when I do struggle I have a source - The Source - to draw upon.