Pacifier Wars

I learned an important lesson in parenting this week. It all started with a meltdown when we left the house and forgot the beloved "pappy" (pacifier). I knew we needed to help her kick the habit but after that incident I felt strongly about it being time. So Monday I set out to limit the beloved object to just bedtime. Admittedly that day was tough. There were multiple meltdowns, 30 minutes of crying fits, and a whole lot of reassurance - and then there was her episodes! Just kidding. I did my best to distract her, took her to the park, we played, we laughed, she ate a lollipop, and then we got home and she wanted her pappy. More crying. More fits. More battling of wills and then...daddy came home.
She was certain she could convince her daddy to give in and give her the pappy. Thankfully we had gone into this as a united front. The drama. Oh, the drama. She's a girl and more importantly, she's a daddy's girl.

I watched her vascillate between distraction and obsession, between mommy and daddy, hoping to find a moment of weakness in one of us where we may give in to her determined requests.
We got a lot of advice - good advice. Lots of tricks of those who had gone before and what worked for them. It was almost overwhelming trying to decide what was right for our girl and our family and ultimately I learned the value in it all. God has entrusted us with these little humans and it's up to us to seek Him for wisdom and discernment. We won't always get it right. The advice of those who have gone before is certainly valued and yet can also be confusing when trying to filter through it all. Ultimately we had to pause and ask ourselves what would work best for our daughter's personality. How could we show her our love and support through breaking this habit and yet maintain boundaries that would prove helpful for her long term? We know our girl and we know what worked for some may not be the 'fix' for her. So we came up with a plan that we felt would best suit her and us. This is just a small step in parenting and yet such a valuable reminder of what I know to be true.
"David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. "I cannot go in these," he said to Saul, "because I am not used to them." So he took them off." 1 Samuel 17:39

When Saul outfitted David with his armor before fighting Goliath, it just didn't fit. It was too big, too heavy, too bulky. It would have weighed David down. The lesson here is simple yet profound. What works for one may not always work for another. The wisdom of Saul to know that David needed protection wasn't wrong. His effort to outfit him in the King's armor was noble at best. It was out of concern and care that he wanted to provide protection for him. And yet it was quickly evident that it wasn't going to work for David.

As we seek to raise our children, it's our responsibility to foster the God-given talents and characteristics He's given. We all know parenting is hard. The only "manual" we're given is God's Word as seek to raise them in the Truth of the Gospel. One person's "armor" may not fit your family or your child. Had David gone out in Saul's armor instead of the slingshot and stones he was skilled to use, this story could have ended up very differently.

I know you may think this is a stretch as we help break our strong-willed toddler of her pacifier habit but it was yet a reminder of our responsibility and opportunity as parents. I know the days are long while the years are short. Someday - hopefully soon - I will be dropping comments and advice for other parents trying to break their child of their beloved pacifier. I hope I'll remember to tell them not what worked for our child but rather share the wisdom to seek the Lord, pray for discernment and understanding of their child, and trust their ability to foster an environment where their child is developed and strengthened to be who God created them to be.

The Update (one month later): https://carriehispraises.blogspot.com/2018/04/pacifier-wars.html