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Showing posts from March, 2014

30

It's been 30 years.
30 years ago today.
You know how much I love birthdays and celebrating, so I couldn't rest my eyes tonight without acknowledging today, March 31.
It's my spiritual birthday. The 30th anniversary of the day I asked Jesus to come into my heart. I was 5 years old. I can still recall kneeling beside my bed. I can recall coming home from church just desperate to talk to my mom. I knew I couldn't wait one more minute. I have this fuzzy picture in my mind of the scene. A moment frozen in time that would change my entire life. 
As I watch the childlike faith of my own 5 year old as he deals with his own belief in God, I can more clearly understand what my own mentality must have been at the time. 
I've spent the vast majority of my life knowing and trusting in Christ as my Savior, and then pursuing a relationship with Him as Lord of my life. I wish I could say that has happened without fail, but I'd be remisce if I didn't acknowledge the times I'…

Covered

I sat in silence. The sun hadn't quite yet made its appearance. It was a cool spring morning, early and peaceful. I'd been awake for awhile and not really sure why my head and my heart could not find rest. Thankful for the extra time, I was looking forward to concentrated, uninterrupted time alone with The Lord. I was not prepared for what was to come.
It started with overwhelming conviction. Layer upon layer peeled back as light revealed darkness. Unconfessed sin. Regret. Guilt. Past mistakes. Recent failures. Carnality that still exists. It came as a flood, overwhelming me and knocking me to my knees. There I was. Covered in nothing but disgrace. 
I wasn't prepared for the anguish my soul would feel, the tears that so easily flowed. I think one of the most gruesome things we face as believers is the moment we come face to face with the mirror God holds up before us and reveals to us how wrong we were about ourselves. It's that time when we had thought we were doing &qu…

Hopelessly Hopeful

"I know how confused you sometimes feel - and how much you long to find the way forward. You have tried so many different things; you have been so hopeful at times. Yet your hope-filled paths have led to disappointment." Jesus Today
Lord, I make such messes. Out of anything! I seem to have this natural instinct that requires me to get involved. Why must I be in control?! I confuse myself thinking I am helping when really I'm wreaking havoc on whatever I touch. You've seen it happen - over and over. Make no mistake, everything was done with the very best of intentions. I wish I didn't have to recount the times I've looked back and realized how my own actions, my own interjections, my well-meaning efforts seem to be the very thing that diverted a path, caused a ripple effect, developed the snowball that turned into an avalanche, or flat out led to disappointment. I'm ashamed of myself. 
"I want you to know that I fully understand how hard your journey ha…

Soar

The first full day of spring. Here I sit on the back porch, enjoying the warmth of this 60-degree day, soaking in the sounds of birds churping, the rustling of branches in the wind. There's a few blossoms on a budding tree revealing hints that this new season of birth and growth has arrived. It's peaceful in my little cul de sac. 
In magnificent form, I caught a glimps of a bird with impressive wingspan soaring across the backyard. It circled back around and I could see with certainty the majesty of its flight, taking ownership of the sky, gliding on the wind and expressing itself with ease and grace. 
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31
Several times this week I've attempted to write. There's something so tragic, so detrimental, I've not even been able to express it. Truthfully I didn't think it wise to share, yet I couldn'…

Present in the Present

I'm sitting in a quiet house watching the sun come up in the distance. It's been beautiful shades of purple blended with oranges in perfect ombre fashion. Everyone is still asleep - including the big ball of fluff nestled by my side. He's usually letting all his puppy energy out after a full night of sleep but there's a sense of calm that I'm soaking in.
The sun is starting to glow with a magnificent light. It's brilliance so bright I can no longer stare directly at it. I love my chair that sits beside the double window giving a perfect view of each new sunrise, each new day. 
There were highs and lows yesterday. A special event brought some stressful moments and I wasn't sure if it would be pulled off successfully or not. But that's all in the past. I cannot control or change what has already taken place.
Tomorrow is a looming threat of what's being called the St. Patrick's Eve snow storm. Yes, I did type snow. In Virginia. In the middle of March.…