Thursday, June 11, 2015

He Loves Us

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane
I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory 
And I realize just how beautiful You are 
And how great Your affection is for me 

Oh, how He loves us so

was simply brought to tears as we sang this song in choir last night. I have heard it before but all of a sudden the words were sinking in. There I sat as the music played, my voice lifted in unison with the rest of the choir, and I could feel what felt like a little fish flopping around inside me. My little sweet potato, at least that's how big the baby is this week, and he/she had been moving around all day. It was one of the first days I was fully aware of constant movement and now as the words of this song resonated with how great His affection is for me, I couldn't help but be overcome with emotion. Just thinking about the ways He loves us and the very obvious ways He reveals His love and Himself to ust overwhelms me. 

I came home with the song still playing in my head and wasn't even aware I was still singing it out loud when all of a sudden Eli asked me, "Who is jealous?" It caught me off guard and then I realized he was listening to my song. I tried to find a way to explain what I had been singing. 

"God is jealous for us - He doesn't want anything in our lives to take our attention or love away from Him." 

He seemed satisfied with that answer but I could see on his face he was still processing the idea.

"Mama, what about my Legos? Would God be jealous of those?" He had an entire Lego city in his hands. It seemed only fitting he would wonder about this. 

"Yes. He would be jealous if those Legos were more important to you than He is." 

Now he was understanding. The precious colored blocks he takes everywhere, he incessantly plays with all day long, the creations he won't even part with at bed time, even these inanimate objects could be "the thing" that diverts attention from our Heavenly Father. 

I could tell he was conflicted. He loves those Legos so much. So I offered further explanation. 

"You know how much mommy loves you? I love you almost more than anything...but I love God even more. But you know something? He loves me, and you, even more than we could ever love anything in this whole world." 

"Does God want to have my Legos?" The pained look on his face revealed it was certainly something he hoped wouldn't be true. 

"No, bud, God doesn't want you to give up your Legos. But He does want to make sure you always put Him first." 

I couldn't help but think about what "Legos" exist in my own life. What am I so enamored with, what can't I live without, what is it that captures my attention and affection, even taking the rightful place of Almighty God? Certainly when I stop and realize how great His love is for me, does it not cause everything and everyone else to pale in comparison? Even as I feel this little one moving inside me I know full well I am but a steward of the children God chooses to bless me with. When I stop and realize just how much control I don't have over all the little things I attempt to cling to and hold onto, it causes me to understand the magnitude of His sovereignty and how He is at work in my life. When I'm in the middle of affliction or trial, it is easy to be consumed with the storms blowing around me. But if I would truly stop and see Him for who He is and how He is at work in my life then I would get to glimpse His power and glory. 

Oh how He loves us so. So very much. So much more than we can comprehend. So far beyond what words can express. So infinite. So perfect. When I truly let this sink in, there's nothing I should hold onto so tightly that it causes me to lose my grip on Him and His love. 

He Loves Us


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