Saturday, October 17, 2015

Any Day Now

36 weeks and 6 days. The fact that her arrival could literally be any day now has me absolutely over the moon. I'm giddy with excitement at the thought of meeting her. I sat sorting through clothes yesterday, pulling out yet another round of newborn outfits to wash and have prepared and I was brought to tears. I tried to picture her sweet little face, the defined lips we saw on the 3-D ultra sound, the little button nose that seemed to be evident. I keep wondering if she'll have a full head of dark hair like her daddy. I snuggled one of the sleepers, purple and white terry cloth as soft and sweet as it could be. I imagined holding her clothed in that very outfit. Overcome again with emotion, I had to pause for moment.

"Thank You, Lord, for this miracle."

In the early weeks I can recall being gripped with fear, claiming each new week as a milestone and asking God to have His hand on my womb. I can fully admit I've battled worry my entire pregnancy. I know full well I cannot control the outcome, yet it's caused me to stay permanently on my knees trusting the Lord to be in control of my body and my baby. It's a humbling and yet empowering feeling knowing that the Creator of the universe is literally fashioning and forming the life inside of me. How could I not be brought to tears at the fact that God Almighty is planning all the days of my daughter's life even as I feel her move within me?

Now here I stand (quite truthfully, I'm sitting as much as possible with my swollen feet these days) staring down the last few weeks. At last check she was snug as a bug with no signs of showing up early. I'm prepared for the long haul but I'd be lying if I didn't admit to waking up everyday wondering "Will she come today?" I envision her birthday. I'm preparing for labor and delivery. Remember my meltdown at almost 28 weeks? I was gripped with fear that I wouldn't be able to do this. Now I'm fully prepared for what's to come - understanding I can't really predict or prepare for any of it! But make no mistake. She is coming. Sometime between now and about a month from now Violet Hope will be here (dear Lord please don't let it be longer than 4 weeks)!

This entire journey has been one full of faith. There will be a series to come of my journey to motherhood. When I prayed to God to become a mother, I had no idea how He would answer with the emotional and spiritual journey that led to adopting Elijah. When I prayed to become pregnant, I had no idea the spiritual and physical journey it would bring. Blessed is an understatement as we prepare to meet our daughter. I'm thankful for this journey, thankful it's kept me close to Him, thankful for even what remains unknown and what is to come. I'm thankful you have shared in our journey, rejoicing with us over this miracle, crying with us when we mourned last year, celebrating our baby girl as we wait for her arrival...any day now!

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