I've covered your face with a thousand kisses already. My most favorite thing to do is cradle you in my arms and watch your peaceful sleep. I won't listen to anyone who says I shouldn't spoil you by holding you all the time. There's no such thing in my mind. You were a part of me, in me, and I long to still hold you and sustain you. If I don't want to be a part from you, I can only imagine how you must feel since I was the only home you've known for all these months.
When you cry, I will comfort you. When you're hungry, I will feed you. When you're lonely, I will be right there. I will do anything for you, baby girl, because I gave you life and I want to make sure your life is full and filled with joy and love. Isn't that just like God? He's reminding me of my need for Him, my life-sustaining source He is to be.
I will mess up. Oh surely I will fail you, fail as a parent, fail as a person. But God gives grace for those times. He covers us and redeems us because He loves us. We are never too far out of His reach.
There's only one thing I want for you and that is to know how much you're loved, not just by your family, but by the God who created you. You see, I was the heartbeat you heard. I was the warmth you felt. I was providing the La Caretta that maybe gave you hiccups. But I was not the hands fashioning you. No, those were God's. Now that I look upon your face I don't have to wonder what you'll look like any longer. Now I can gaze at you as the single most creative masterpiece God has made for me. He looks upon each of us as His own, His child created in His image. We are His. We belong. We are loved.
You were crying so I laid you on my chest and turned on our Praise Baby music. I started to sing to you and you just nuzzled into me, eyes wide open but almost in a daze. I couldn't hold back my tears. The many days I waited for these moments. The repetitive prayers I uttered to the Lord. The answer culminated in this little 8 pound miracle I'm holding. What a picture of God's goodness, His infinite love for us. How many times did I curl up on His chest and need to be consoled as I was longing, hurting, needing comfort. How many times He just held me, loved on me, sang over me and gave me the comfort my soul needed.
I'm reminded once again how He sees me, knows me, loves me, would do anything for me. He wants to provide for my every need. He wants me to find comfort resting in Him. He wants to be all I need. Here I am learning all over again about His nature, this time through the life of a 4 day old baby.