Life doesn't always go as planned and yesterday morning was a complete and total reminder of just how loose my grip must be on that which I cannot control.
I didn't plan to get hit from behind. I didn't plan to miss breakfast with friends. I didn't plan to be sent home from the doctor with the report there were no signs of labor. I didn't plan to have a complete and total meltdown after such an emotionally trying morning. None of it was part of my plan but all of it was out of my control. Yet in each and every detail He showed Himself mighty and evident, working in my circumstances.
In a complete act of protection, He had His hand on Violet and me when we were unexpectedly hit. Just when I needed it, He provided friends on the side of the road to comfort and stay with me while I was in sheer panic mode worried about the impact the accident may have had on the baby. While I had hoped to hear a report that would be labor would be imminent, I was truly thankful just to learn that my baby was fine. She was moving, heartbeat was good and she proved to be more than snug in my belly. (As Eli would later explain, "Your big belly is super soft for her so it must have protected her." No doubt, son!)
Overcome with emotion, I sobbed uncontrollable tears sitting on my back porch. I just had to stop and thank Him for Who He is in my life. I watched the unseasonable warm breeze take the colored leaves from the trees and gently carry them to the ground. Just as He had carried me through the morning.
He reminded me I am His child, His creation. His love for me is infinite, everlasting, immeasurable. It's not a gift I can earn or something I can lose. It is freely given and in this particular day, His love was not only lavished on me, it was wrapped in abundant grace. His Presence was with me. His protection and provision was abounding. Being anxious in these moments was a natural human reaction but recounting the multitude of blessings caused me to stop and only give thanks.
Life doesn't always go as planned but sometimes in the interruptions, even the difficulties, in the inconveniences, we find an overwhelming sense of His Presence and Sovereignty at work in our lives. I'm thankful for these reminders. Despite the not knowing, the wondering, the waiting, I'm fine to take my rightful place recognizing His plan is so much better than mine. Understanding that He is watching out for me and working out His plan to completion and perfection - according to His purpose and not my own. It's often frustrating, sometimes devastating, but it can also be freeing when I release my expectation and desire and look solely to Him as my hope. Yesterday God reminded me of the very verse for which we've given our daughter her middle name:
May the God of Hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope as you trust in Him. Romans 15:13
Overflowing hope, joy and peace is mine to claim if I will simply trust in Him. It's so much easier said than done but these are the moments that bring me to the point of realizing all I can do is place my trust in an all-knowing Sovereign God as I thank Him for always being at work in my life. Even when I can't see. Even when I don't understand. Even when life doesn't go as planned.