Broken
As I was putting away the ornaments and decorations, I noticed the sparkly peacock Eli had picked for the top of his blue tree was broken. He wanted it special to remind him of Davina, the peacock he's affectionately named and looks for every time we visit our favorite Florida vacation spot. We've seen her every time we go. Eli makes sure of it. He'd first named the peacock Dave only to learn that he was a she so he switched it to Davina. I felt the peacock tree topper was an excellent choice but now that I saw it broken I hesitated to put it away with all the other decorations.
I know my boy well enough to know its broken state doesn't qualify it as useless. I admit I set him up with the conversation:
"Hey bud, did you see your peacock is broken?"
"Yeah, I know mom. It's okay."
"What would you like to do with Davina?"
"Mom, if you're suggesting we're throwing her away, that's not even an option. Just because she's broken doesn't mean she isn't beautiful. Look at this beautiful tail full of feathers."
I love his heart and I fully expected this type of response but I tried to prompt him further.
"Do you want me to tape it up? You know how you love scotch tape on everything."
"No, it's okay, mom. I think we'll leave it just like this to remind me that it's okay if things get broken. You know how I am with things that are different."
Yes, I do know.
I guess I can't always predict how his mind works and as challenging as some of the moments may be, I can always expect these little people God has entrusted me with to never stop teaching me more about the character of God Himself. You see, my son has taught me over and over again that God doesn't just choose the special, pretty, beautiful, and whole. On the contrary. If the biblical misfit heroes aren't enough to prove this then my son has certainly taught it to me on repeat. In fact, it's now to the point where when I look for things to purchase or make, I find myself digging for the one that no one else wants - the lopsided, uneven, off-centered, whatever it may be.
It doesn't seem natural - to be drawn to the broken and misfit, and yet it's exactly the life Jesus lived on this earth. So allow me to rephrase. It isn't always natural for me and yet it's exactly the life He's called me to. And if I'm being truly honest, I wouldn't even be in the running for consideration if He wasn't willing to look upon my own broken and unfit life and redeem that which has been unloveable and unusable.
God doesn't always fix our brokenness. Sometimes He leaves it as a reminder of the way He's carried us and cared for us. Sometimes He heals the wound and leaves a scar as a reminder of what we've been through. I am taking extra care to put this peacock away until next year. I know when we see it's beautiful feathers and slightly broken neck, we'll be reminded of the way we've each been given grace to be loved and used.
I know my boy well enough to know its broken state doesn't qualify it as useless. I admit I set him up with the conversation:
"Hey bud, did you see your peacock is broken?"
"Yeah, I know mom. It's okay."
"What would you like to do with Davina?"
"Mom, if you're suggesting we're throwing her away, that's not even an option. Just because she's broken doesn't mean she isn't beautiful. Look at this beautiful tail full of feathers."
I love his heart and I fully expected this type of response but I tried to prompt him further.
"Do you want me to tape it up? You know how you love scotch tape on everything."
"No, it's okay, mom. I think we'll leave it just like this to remind me that it's okay if things get broken. You know how I am with things that are different."
Yes, I do know.
I guess I can't always predict how his mind works and as challenging as some of the moments may be, I can always expect these little people God has entrusted me with to never stop teaching me more about the character of God Himself. You see, my son has taught me over and over again that God doesn't just choose the special, pretty, beautiful, and whole. On the contrary. If the biblical misfit heroes aren't enough to prove this then my son has certainly taught it to me on repeat. In fact, it's now to the point where when I look for things to purchase or make, I find myself digging for the one that no one else wants - the lopsided, uneven, off-centered, whatever it may be.
It doesn't seem natural - to be drawn to the broken and misfit, and yet it's exactly the life Jesus lived on this earth. So allow me to rephrase. It isn't always natural for me and yet it's exactly the life He's called me to. And if I'm being truly honest, I wouldn't even be in the running for consideration if He wasn't willing to look upon my own broken and unfit life and redeem that which has been unloveable and unusable.
God doesn't always fix our brokenness. Sometimes He leaves it as a reminder of the way He's carried us and cared for us. Sometimes He heals the wound and leaves a scar as a reminder of what we've been through. I am taking extra care to put this peacock away until next year. I know when we see it's beautiful feathers and slightly broken neck, we'll be reminded of the way we've each been given grace to be loved and used.
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