He's My Son

It was a different Sunday. I wasn't leading worship so we got to go to church together as a family. I admit my frustration had been elevated trying to get everyone ready and out the door. It was much different when I was only responsible for myself. Walking into church continued to be an agreement. Why was everything so difficult? It had been the theme of the last several days and I had been ready to wave my white flag of surrender and let the Lord know I wasn't cut out for this. I felt the growing frustrating leading to a spirit of wanting to throw in the towel. Can you quit being a parent? Is it possible to take a leave of absence? It seemed necessary for the health and well-being of us all.

I sat in class with a reminder not only of the position I hold as a member of the family of God, chosen and adoption, but also the rights and privileges of Jesus God's Son are mine as His chosen.

A friend of mine and fellow soldier in the throws of mothering a child not her blood shared her own woes with me. We consoled each other, knowing we're committed to praying for each other. It helps knowing you're not alone.

We made our way to service where the kids who attended camp were on the platform. My son was sitting in our section waiting for us. All the kids had come in for the camp presentation.

The music started to play and we all stood to sing. At some point my son had grabbed my hand. Even as I sang the words, his hand squeezed mine. The fullness of the moment wasn't lost on me.

He walks on the water. He speaks to the seas. He stands in the fire beside me.

I couldn't even sing. Tears fell from my eyes. He hasn't left me alone. It's not a journey I'm traveling by myself. I may not be able to figure it out or provide the answers but it's so nice to know I'm not alone.

He carries my healing in His hand.

I squeezed the hand of my son. The parallels were present. Even as I stood there knowing my own hand was held tightly in the grip of my Sovereign God, I was also reminded of the grip I had on my own child. He chose me. He chose him. He chose me for him. I stared at the words on the screen. I made them my prayer.

Lord, I'm not asking for who he is to change but I am asking for understanding and grace. Help him find who you've created him to be and help me be a vessel in his development. Help me show him Your grace as I love him and point him to You. Cover all my faults with Your grace where I fall drastically short of loving him well. Messiah, my Redeemer. There is power in Your name. I cherish who he is, who you've created him to be, and I ask for the divine intervention to love and raise him well.

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he[a] predestined us for adoption to sonship[b] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will." Ephesians 1:4-5