I'd been hanging out in the hallway, living in transition, waiting for my next step. And then I started to see God move. On the left side, then the right. Around every turn, it has seemed He was flinging open the doors. WIDE open. The truth is, it's been somewhat mind blowing, and happening so quickly that I've barely caught my breath from the whirlwind. It has seemed the storehouse has been opened and all I could do is stand back and let Him move.
Make no mistake; prayers have been offered up, regular and repeated requests and petitions, and very specifically He has answered. And up until this point, His answers have been in the affirmative.
It's problematic to me that as a Christian I fall prey to the belief that God simply can't keep blessing. Surely He doesn't just answer yes and give me everything I've asked for. Right?! But why am I led down a path of thinking that God is somehow disappointing me or not rewarding me? Maybe I go as far as being tricked into thinking I'm being punished. He wouldn't do that...not when I'm believing in faith...would He?!
There's a truth I'm learning. I'm sure I've had to repeat this lesson numerous times. But God is consistently reminding me that my plan isn't always His. Don't I already know His plan is always better? Don't I trust He has my best interest at heart? Don't I believe He has a hope and future, one I may not yet even be privy to? Still, I find my weakened flesh crying out, "Lord, help my unbelief!"
It's not that I don't trust God. It's that when He says "no" or closes a door, I go through a myriad of emotions. With confusion I wonder what His plan is. With disappointment I realize I have set my expectation on something other than Him.With frustration I sometimes get angry that I'm left in the dark and trying to figure out my next step again. Especially when I thought I had already been given the map and the go ahead.
Despite those emotions, when God says "no" there is a greater yes yet to come. I've written about it before, a song literally called "Greater Yes." But it tells how we've never prayed a prayer our Father hasn't answered. While we're waiting and believing for what WE thought was best, we must trust God when He says no. We are still blessed. There must be a greater yes.
This "no" brings the emotions, even pain, but it also carries a test of faith. And without faith it impossible to please God. And without Christ it is impossible to get to God. So this "no" brings me to my knees. It brings me to the feet of my Lord. Even though I still have much to be grateful for, I must also admit my confusion and my own hurt. So I tell Him. And He tells me, "Trust me. This 'no' that I've given is just an indication of the greater yes I have yet to reveal to you."
No. I can't expect Him to always answer the way I want. But He will answer. And when that answer is "no"my response must be in faith to wait for His greater yes.