Even Me

Oh what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer

It rings true for me today. I'm not necessarily bearing pain, but I am struggling with something so needlessly because I refuse to surrender. Somehow I think I should be doing something. Somehow I must think God needs me. Oh foolish thoughts!

"We plan and figure and predict that this or that will happen, but we forget to make room for God to come in as He chooses." - Oswald Chambers, January 25

Nowhere does God require my involvement. The only thing it requires is my surrender. I can't expect God to show up or act in the way I expect Him to. I can, however, expect God to show up. What I carry to God in prayer are usually my expectations of Him. "God, please give me... Lord, grant me... Father, I pray for this to happen... God, I want this..." It is so one-sided it's sickening. 

His command for me to pray without ceasing (I Thess. 5:17) and His instruction for me to bring ALL things to Him in prayer (Phil. 4:6) are not meant for Him, they're meant for ME. He knows what we seek before we ask (Matt. 6:8). If I get to the heart of it, then I would see that what He's asking of me is to seek HIM.

He promises to clothe the grass of the field and that much more for me (Matt. 6:30). I worry needlessly even when His word tells me I should trust Him. I am so much more valuable than the birds that neither sow nor reap (Matt. 6:26) yet I somehow feel like I must fix this or offer my help. What He requires of me is not my help, problem-solving skills or my worry. It won't add a single day to my life - nor will it solve any problem. What He's expecting of me is my willingness to seek HIM - and not just what I'm hoping He'll do for me. 

"Are we experieincing the "much more" He promised? If we are not, it is because we are not obeying the life God has given us and have cluttered our minds with confusing thoughts and worries." - Oswald Chambers, January 26

The needless pain we bear is refusing to surrender. It's thinking we can do this - or worse, thinking God won't. It's the prideful mindset that causes me to think I might actually be useful, when truthfully I'm probably just getting in the way of God's sovereign plan. When I carry everything to God in prayer, it means EVERYTHING. Even my pride. Even my "problem-solving skills." Even my belief that He wants (or needs) my help. I must carry EVERYTHING. Even me. 


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