It was a moment I will cherish. My boy was tired. Much too tired to wake up. But we had a schedule for the first in five days and I was forced to drag him out of bed. That meant that my oh-so-tired and not much of a morning person was willing for me to offer him help out of bed. Before I knew it, we were cuddled on the couch and there I sat, cradling my not-so-little boy in my arms. He snuggled into me as I stroked his hair and I was taken back to 6 years ago when I nestled a tiny bundle in my arms.
"Mommy used to rock you like this every single night while I fed you your bottle and sang you to sleep."
"What did you sing?" he asked.
I began to sing Jesus Loves Me just as I had so many nights a few years ago. He didn't move a muscle and let me sway with each note.
"Mommy used to say scriptures over you after I sang to you."
"What are scriptures?" he was inquisitive.
"Bible verses. Like Psalm 23..." and I quoted the verses over him, praying them to be a comfort to his soul, asking The Lord to shepherd and guide him.
"Do you know that mommy prayed, oh how I prayed, for God to give me a baby. I asked God to make me a mommy and He did! YOU made me a mommy. God gave me you," I couldn't keep the tears from welling up. There I sat holding my baby, my 6 year old baby, caressing his sun-kissed skin, running my fingers through his golden blonde hair and knowing that every single day of his life had been planned by a perfect God who knew him and formed him even while I was praying with empty arms. Every single day, including this day, and this moment.
"Mom?" he paused. "How much does God love me?"
If my heart could have melted anymore, it was then.
"Baby, God loves you more than the whole world. He loves you so much He sent His Son, Jesus, to die for you. He loves you so much He created you."
"Does God love me more than you do?"
My laughter cut through the tears as I gave a chuckle. "Yes, He does."
Before I could offer any further explanation, he cut me off. "But mom, you love me more than the whole universe."
"Yes, I do. But God created the universe and you. Even though you're my son, you're His child."
I could tell he was trying to comprehend this. God's. He belongs to God. The Creator of the universe created him then entrusted me to love him, train him, hold him, cradle him, pray for him, sing over him, breathe scripture into his soul.
God, I cannot comprehend how much You love me! How much You chose to bless me. How Your perfect plan included this moment where I would come face to face with a little boy, my little boy, my answer to prayer. Face to face with the love You have for each of us. I cherish You. I cherish Your love for me, Father. I cherish Your plan. Your infinite plan that included me becoming a mommy and recognizing that only You could love him more than I do.