It's been 20 days since her arrival and yes I've been counting each one. Somehow it feels like a whirlwind that got thrown into time standing still. If I could freeze these moments of holding our growing newborn I would. I've said it over and over - you can't spoil an infant. Maybe you can, but frankly I could care less. She loves being held and I love holding onto these moments because I know they will be gone before I can even blink. I'm okay with still being the sustenance of life she depends on. I'm tired but not weary because I am fully embracing this season of life knowing it is but a fleeting season.
It seems like only a short time ago I was rubbing my ginormous belly and wondering (impatiently) when we would finally meet her. Now I stare at her perfect little button nose and sweetheart lips and wonder about her life, her personality, the days planned for her by God Almighty. Everyone says she looks like her daddy and she certainly enjoys sleeping like him! It makes me wonder if she'll take after my love of music - or if she'll have any resemblance of my DNA at all! She's too little to care about dress up but I admit I'm having so much fun with all her outfits and hair bows. These are the moments I'm savoring.
There's no deeply spiritual undercurrent here. There is the simple joy of taking it all in, holding onto every moment and doing my best to savor the peacefulness of her slumber while her greatest concern is just being held and fed. These are the moments when my greatest concern is no longer the things that just a few weeks ago caused me to stress and worry.
It's an especially busy time of year but I'm taking this time to rest in knowing my greatest responsibility is simply being in the present peaceful moment. And the not so peaceful moments. In the moments in the middle of the night when my baby wakes. In the moments of bliss when my baby girl is nestled under my chin. In the moments of stress when I don't know how to soothe my fussy little one. In the moments of pure joy when I stare at her, mesmerized by the fact that she was once inside my womb where Father God fashioned each one of her beautiful features. It's the moments when her daddy bounces her hiccups away or the moments when she's enthralled with her big brother reading to her. These are the moments I'm cherishing, the moments I'm documenting and writing upon my heart. These are the moments I want to remember and savor. These are the moments we waited for. The moments that will all too quickly be gone.