When It Hurts
I could see the look on his face and I knew something was wrong.
"How was your day?"
"Awful...Mom, [my best friend] told me he doesn't want to be my friend anymore."
His face bore the resemblance of a deflated balloon and I choked back the tears as I prayed for words. He didn't want to talk about it, naturally, and I didn't blame him but I was feeling everything he was feeling as if my own friend had delivered the news to me.
Flashbacks of childhood friendships came rushing back. A flood of emotions hit me as I felt the protective defenses kick in. As his mama I wanted to protect him, console him, defend him, and set this straight. As his sister in Christ I knew I needed to pray for wisdom to help coach him through one of life's many disappointments.
We talked about friends and friendships, how people come and go, how sometimes people are just mean, how sometimes they're hurting and hurt people, and sometimes we don't understand but it still hurts. He told me his heart was hurting and I knew it was. My own heart was breaking for him. I told him God would always be his friend - the one he could always count on and who would never give up on him.
"I know God will always be my friend, mom, but I want a friend I can see and play with on earth."
"I know, bud, I do. I used to pray the same thing at night when my friends were mean to me and I felt all alone," Decades later, the memory was as real and fresh as if it had happened today. I hated that he was now feeling this way.
We talked a lot and we prayed for his friend and whatever he may be dealing with. I prayed that God would comfort my boy and use this moment of hurt to lavish His love upon Eli's heart. I shared with him that God hurts when we hurt.
It's amazing how the Lord uses parenting and children to reveal more of His character and Who He is. All of a sudden it became so clear how our Heavenly Father aches for us when we hurt, He grieves for us in our loneliness and despair, He longs for us to feel and know love.
Before bed, Eli asked if I would be his Valentine. I gushed and swooned and wholeheartedly agreed. The eve of this Valentine's Day isn't lost on me. Today it was my son's friendship. It could just as easily be love lost, love hoped for, love gone wrong, love never realized... It could be emptiness, loneliness, hopelessness, grief, despair... You might feel like my son, knowing God is present and faithful but just wanting the presence of a person.
I wanted to step in and intercede for my son. I wanted to stop his pain. I would take it away if I could. Yet I know it's up to me to help him learn to cope, teach him the deeper lessons of relying on God, pray he understands our opportunity to show love even when others don't seem worthy of it. Yet another reminder of how God loves us - even when we're unworthy, even when we don't deserve it.
Picking up the pieces and facing tomorrow is a part of the character building process. Allowing God to wrap His loving arms around us when we're hurting and alone is a part of understanding His character.
"How was your day?"
"Awful...Mom, [my best friend] told me he doesn't want to be my friend anymore."
His face bore the resemblance of a deflated balloon and I choked back the tears as I prayed for words. He didn't want to talk about it, naturally, and I didn't blame him but I was feeling everything he was feeling as if my own friend had delivered the news to me.
Flashbacks of childhood friendships came rushing back. A flood of emotions hit me as I felt the protective defenses kick in. As his mama I wanted to protect him, console him, defend him, and set this straight. As his sister in Christ I knew I needed to pray for wisdom to help coach him through one of life's many disappointments.
We talked about friends and friendships, how people come and go, how sometimes people are just mean, how sometimes they're hurting and hurt people, and sometimes we don't understand but it still hurts. He told me his heart was hurting and I knew it was. My own heart was breaking for him. I told him God would always be his friend - the one he could always count on and who would never give up on him.
"I know God will always be my friend, mom, but I want a friend I can see and play with on earth."
"I know, bud, I do. I used to pray the same thing at night when my friends were mean to me and I felt all alone," Decades later, the memory was as real and fresh as if it had happened today. I hated that he was now feeling this way.
We talked a lot and we prayed for his friend and whatever he may be dealing with. I prayed that God would comfort my boy and use this moment of hurt to lavish His love upon Eli's heart. I shared with him that God hurts when we hurt.
It's amazing how the Lord uses parenting and children to reveal more of His character and Who He is. All of a sudden it became so clear how our Heavenly Father aches for us when we hurt, He grieves for us in our loneliness and despair, He longs for us to feel and know love.
Before bed, Eli asked if I would be his Valentine. I gushed and swooned and wholeheartedly agreed. The eve of this Valentine's Day isn't lost on me. Today it was my son's friendship. It could just as easily be love lost, love hoped for, love gone wrong, love never realized... It could be emptiness, loneliness, hopelessness, grief, despair... You might feel like my son, knowing God is present and faithful but just wanting the presence of a person.
I wanted to step in and intercede for my son. I wanted to stop his pain. I would take it away if I could. Yet I know it's up to me to help him learn to cope, teach him the deeper lessons of relying on God, pray he understands our opportunity to show love even when others don't seem worthy of it. Yet another reminder of how God loves us - even when we're unworthy, even when we don't deserve it.
Picking up the pieces and facing tomorrow is a part of the character building process. Allowing God to wrap His loving arms around us when we're hurting and alone is a part of understanding His character.
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