Not Yet

We're just about a month away from our annual Florida trip and we are in full-blown Disney prep mode! Booking tickets and dinner reservations, talking about our plans and getting things ready as we prepare for this year's adventures. Violet has a keen awareness of these discussions alongside her growing infatuation with all-things princesses, most specifically Frozen, so she's been quite involved as we've talked. She doesn't remember the fact that she's been 3 times before so I've been showing her pictures of our previous trips and letting her see what she's about to experience. 

One morning this week she had been watching some of the videos of parades and character dining and talked non-stop about all the characters she would meet and hug. "We going to Disney! I so excited!" Excited comes out more like "ess-ited" and it's the cutest thing to see her sweet little face bear the excitement of a child (or an adult like me) the way Disney brings about. 

About an hour later we made the turn to pull into the driveway of her sitter when she started to cry. "Mommy, no! No thank you! Where we going? I want to go to DISNEYYYYYYYYY!"

What I had failed to explain to my little one was the concept of time. Yes, we are in fact going to Disney...but not that day. Not for a few weeks. Now I had a heartbroken preschooler crying a river in the backseat at the disappointment that she would be spending the day with the sitter and not Minnie Mouse. 

It's a difficult lesson for a child with no concept of time or space. Not only were we not going that day, we most assuredly wouldn't get there in 20 minutes. (Note to self: don't forget to pack dramamine and activities for the car!) All of a sudden it makes sense why parents surprise their children moments before leaving for their grand adventures... I fear my own anticipation and 'gift' of planning will always be a spoiler for my family. 

What my daughter doesn't realize is planning a memorable experience for a place like Disney World requires effort that she is simply not able to put in at her ripe age of 2.5 years old. That's why I'm willing to do it for her - for our family. We've been before - so has she - but she's not capable of doing it herself. Sure, we could show up and wing the entire vacation. We've been lots of times, we know the "ropes" but that very fact means we know that fast passes and reservations we want require planning ahead. 

What happens when He says, "Not Yet?" I think it's one of the most difficult answers to hear. A "no," while disappointing, is at least a way to process and close the door. When the answer is "yes" but "not yet" or "not right now," do we wait well? 

I'm afraid to admit how I can be that hysterical "child" throwing a fit with confusion and disappointment because I simply don't understand what is going on. How many times have I read His promises to me and wondered when they're coming to fruition? How many times have I grown impatient while waiting and failed to understand the planning and preparation He was doing in the background on my behalf? I trust Him. I believe His word. And yet, I expect it to be in my timeframe. 

When He trusts me enough to reveal His plans to me yet tells me "not yet," I have to be willing to wait on Him to work it out to completion. I also have to be compliant enough to allow Him to actually work without thinking I can somehow help Him out in the process. 

We are going to Disney. The promise of this trip is yet to come but the plans for it are happening in the here and now. I've got my monogramed Minnie mouse shirt and ears ready to go. The calendar countdown is set. My little one is too small to understand. For now we'll keep showing her videos and pictures and building the excitement while making certain to be extremely clear about where we go whenever we leave the house. We're going, babydoll, just not quite yet!