Remember last week when I was adamently opposed to the onset of fall? Come on, Carrie. You studied counseling. You know there's always a deeper issue lurking underneath. It wasn't about the new season bringing cooler temperatures and changing leaves. No, what this was about was a different kind of season. A change in life. One that I have anticipated, prayed over, researched, discussed, and prayed over some more. One that I have been excited and nervous about all at the same time. And here we are.
While the first day of Pre-K was yesterday, it was just a half day. But today - oh yes, today - is the first full day of school.
It was an earlier waking time for everyone today... But I was ready. Lunches were packed last night. Coffee was ready for me to hit the on-switch. Chocolate milk and breakfast was already prepared. His backpack was packed and my bag was ready to go, too. In those quiet moments after I was ready and before he needed to be up, I sat down to pray. But before I could even utter the words I found myself in tears.
"Lord, why am I so emotional about this today?!"
Then it was time. Without so much as an argument, he sprung out of bed and straight into my arms. On Sunday we picked out his outfits for the entire week and put them in individual cubbies, labeled with each day of the week. He proudly got Tuesday's outfit out and got dressed. Breakfast was served and then it was time to go. He was so excited he was literally running through the house.
I parked the car and walked him in. I was in good company. Parents with children of all ages were accompanying them to their classrooms. It is the first "official" day so I claimed that as my parental right.
There was excitement filling the school. New packbacks were full of school supplies. Little girls with sparkly shoes and ribbons in their hair. Boys with new tennis shoes that would not look this clean ever again. It was hard not to smile at the passing strangers, parents just like me taking their kids just like me.
Like a champ, he walked right into his classroom, said good morning to his teacher and proceeded to unpack his backpack in his cubby. I hugged and kissed him goodbye and just like that he was caught up in his day and I turned to leave.
I sat in my car and quietly prayed over him, his day, his actions, his decisions, his mind, his heart, his interactions. I pray as he grows in stature and wisdom, he will also grow to love and serve the Lord. I pray he will commit his life to Christ and come to this understanding of faith early on in life.
I can't be there to watch his every move, but I can pray over him continuously. I'm not rejecting this season of change. It's here whether I like it or not, whether I cry about it or not. I'm embracing it with full intentions of holding onto him, understanding that I must also be willing to loosen my grip a little with each new milestone we reach. This is part of growing up. This is part of parenting.
Even as I walked the halls of campus today I had this brief thought of dropping him off at college one day. I realize this is just the beginning of first days of school for many years to come. I'm embracing today but not without embracing my son! Happy First Day of School!