Isn't this what we pray for? We beg God to speak to us. We plead with Him, "Make it clear, Lord, then I will know." We rationalize that if we simply have His distinct and specific will laid out for us then we'll obey. We seek it. We want it. But most often we're not fully prepared for when it actually happens.
Here it is. The message I've begged God for. The words He's placed smack dab in front of my face - literally. The truth He's nearly been screaming as if with megaphone in hand. The instruction He seemingly painted across the sky. What?! You mean you've never asked Him to do that??
Remember on January 1, when I wrote a little blog about the things God was teaching me? The peace and joy I was praying for? The friend who shared with me that I can't just ask God to bless MY plan but I have to seek HIS will? I may not have thoroughly emphasized it but for my own self it has become the very motivation of my each and every day. It is the daily joy journal I have begun - closing each day by calling to mind the joy I'm finding in my day. I'm letting it sink into my marrow - seeking His plan, His will and asking Him to take root with what He wants to do in my life.
By January 3, I was having a moment. You now the kind - in your car on a rainy day, driving down the road while you're praying outloud to Him. Pouring out my heart to God, giving Him everything - ALL OF IT - asking Him to turn mourning into dancing, praying for healing and joy, seeking His will and His desires for me and asking Him to rip away anything that I seek or desire that isn't a part of His plan. It turned into the ugly cry. The kind you are desperately searching your glove compartment and console for a tissue, napkin, anything to help dry the profuse liquid running down your face. (Don't tell me you haven't had this type of moment because I surely won't believe you.)
Here we are on January 5 and this is what I read:
"True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do. It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plan My desires within you." Yes, Lord! That IS what I want. That IS what I'm praying! Please, do this. I invite You in - I welcome You to take up residence in my life where you can establish and work out Your plan. Give me Your desires. Give me eyes to see the way You see. Give me a heart to love the way You love. We are on a journey - a faith-walk - where I can only take one step at a time. Just enough light for the step I'm on - that's all You've seen fit to give me and I accept it with grace as I recognize the state of utter dependence it allows me to have on You. Only You, God, only You can do this. Let the failures I face, the heartache I endure, the pain I feel, the disappointment that comes all be points of growth that cause me to draw closer and closer to You.
The verse at the bottom of thise devotional is one another friend recently shared:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit. Psalm 34:18
Surrender can be one of the most difficult lessons to learn. It can be the most challenging call to action we face. Trust is an act of belief. Faith is pursuit. But surrender requires us to give up any semblance of control we think we have. Surrender requires our faith to be called into action. Belief in God cannot be accomplished apart from true surrender - full reliance on God. Every single day. Every moment of the day. Over and over.
He has made it so clear to me. There is simply no denying His word to me. Even if it means nothing to no one else, I can say without a doubt that I know He is speaking to me. Thank You, Lord. Your servant is listening.