I was driving down the road singing my heart out. It's a song I've belted out many times before, crying out the names of God and claiming Him as Wonderful, Glorious, Holy and Righteous, Victorious, Conqueror, Triumphant and Mighty...
There was no music, no choir, no accompaniment. Just my voice carrying the melody of the song God put in my heart. Just the sound of my own song to an audience of One. I completed my ballad - one hand still raised in the air (the other planted firmly and safely on the steering wheel) - and I exclaimed, "That is my song!" And then I caught myself and changed my tune. "No, God. That is YOUR song!"
If I'm honest, I'm sure there have been too many times I've taken the credit for something. My admirable talent. My flawless performance. My inspiring writing. My noteworthy accomplishment. My achieved success. My national award. My good deed. My well-delivered message. My ___________ (fill in the blank - surely there's more I did, right?!) The mere thought makes me cringe.
Dare I get ahead of myself and think that it's "me" or because of me or anything I've done, then I could be rendered useless. Dare I become paralyzed by feelings of inadequacy and insecurities that overtake my willingness to act and do and be and I rob myself of the opportunity to experience Him at work.
I squirm at the thought of all the times I've been noticed or recognized, unbeknownst to me, and didn't represent that which He trusted me with. These are the things that will be rolled out on the scroll before me as I stand (bow?) before the Lord. The more I think upon His character, the more I'm brought face to face with my own - and I don't like what I see.
I admit the conflict of trying to understand how He knew me before He spoke creation to be. I can't come to terms with how He loved me enough to plan a way for my salvation to spend eternity with me, and how He's seen fit to bless me with whatever gifts, talents, abilities He chose. Yet my very existence is but a speck on this earth. "Who am I that the Lord of the earth would care to know my name?" It's a crippling thought.
I can't make sense of it. When it comes to the supernatural battle over carnal flesh. It's not my might, strength, talent, ability, gift, accomplishment, success, or voice. It's HIS song. And all I can do is sing of who He is...
Holy and Righteous
Triumphant and Mighty
Shield and Defense
My Best Friend
Soon coming King
Lord of Everything
Holy, Holy, Holy are You, Lord!