No More Arguments

Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”
Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses...
Exodus 4:10-14

 
It's been a Moses-like argument for me. I'm ashamed to admit I have dared to approach the Creator of the univerrse with my doubts and insecurities. Make no mistakes - I am not bringing these issues to surrender. Oh no. In true Moses fashion, I have decided these are the very things that prevent me from what I've sensed God leading me to do. And so, the conversation has gone something like this:

"Certainly not, Lord. I can't."

"I am."
"But Lord, You above all should recall my flaws. You can recount each and every failure. I'm disqualified."

"I've cast it as far as the east is from the west."
"Okay, God. I don't want to argue, but I'm not worthy. There are so many others, so much better than me."

"Greater is He that is in You than He that is in the world."
"Lord, pardon me, but I'm scared."

"My perfect love casts out fear."
Silence. I'm plumb out of excuses. He must be forgetting how much I've screwed up. He surely has overlooked the fact that I can take His perfect plan and get my hands in the middle of it until I mess it up beyond recognition. Surely He has lost sight of my ability to wreak havoc on a perfectly good circumstance. Put me in the mix and it's a recipe for disaster.
"You know the tree, God? You told Adam & Even not to eat from it. If all the people in the world had refrained from consuming that fruit, I am sure I would have been the one...

"Or what about the ark? I would have probably been one of Noah's scoffers...begging to get in the boat once the rain started to fall...
"What about Noah's scoffers? I would have surely been laughing like a hyenna until the rains came and I would have begged to get on board...
"Pardon your servant, Lord, but I just don't think I can..."
"You can do all things through me."
How many times does my assessment of myself contradict God? Do I really believe what God says about me? Why do I try to argue that my own self-perception is more accurate than who He says I am?

When you became a Christian, you gave yourself back to God, acknowledging His right to have His will done in your life. Have you ever considered that along with all of the decisions and conveniences you defer to Him, you also are pleasantly obligated to give up your own self-perception? In other words, you don't really have the right to tell God how ill-fitted you are for the work He has called you to, as Moses did, or even how short you will continue to fall of His glory. If God says you are his beloved child, seated with Him in heavenly places, treasured as a specimen of His redemption and glory, cleanswed of all sin, and gifted for divine works, you have no business contradicting Him. - taken from "Indeed" Daily Devotional
Like Thomas I doubted. I needed proof. Like Eve I gave in. I took the bait. Like scoffers I laughed in the face of God's plan. I nearly drowned. But I'm not arguing anymore. I can't. Not with God. After all, if He can speak the stars and moon into existence, He's not going to let me interfere. Sure, He has a plan that includes and involves me. But far be it from me to think He needs me to help Him keep the earth on its axis. I can because He is and I am NOT arguing with that!

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