Showing posts from January, 2013

4 a.m Talks

I was awake. Wide awake. Dare I look at the clock? I already knew what it would read.
4 a.m. I'm getting used to this.

"This worry is not from Me. It's an attack from the Evil One who seeks to destroy you. But I have overcome and victory is yours because of Me."

I know, Lord, I know. All these things ring true to me...

"I have a plan for you, oh and it's good! Even while I was forming you, I was planning all the days of your life. I saw your unformed body and started creating you in My image. I've had my hand on you ever since."

Father, sometimes I feel so unsettled. I can't quite seem to find rest.

"My daughter, My peace is yours to claim. Not the fallible peace the world offers, but peace that passes all understanding. You don't have to know what I'm doing, or where the path will lead, you just have to follow and trust Me."

I trust you Lord. I do. I know you don't want to harm me. I know you're working all things out f…

Not One Word

"Focus on enjoying Me and all that I am to you - even though your circumstances scream for resolution. Refuse to obsess about your problems and how you are going to fix them. Instead, affirm your trust in Me; wait hopefully in My Presence, and watch to see what I will do." ~ Jesus Today

Nailed it. Square between the eyes. I gotta love it when that happens. Or maybe I just cringe. Either way, I'm leftwith the striking reality that if I'd just stop obsessing about what I can do and focus on who He is, then I'd stop getting in the way.

The truth is, if I wouldn't single-handedly keep trying to take control, then I really would get to experience more of Him. Oh yes, you know. Type A. Miss Independent. Strong-willed. We've been over all this before. So why do I keep finding myself back at the same starting point?! Did I mention hard-headed? ... I guess some lessons are harder to learn than others. But it doesn't keep me from wanting to come back to Him. Ov…

The Right Way

I found myself lost in my reading from Jesus Today as my Savior reminds me, "This world in its fallen condition can never satisfy you fully. You yearn for perfection, and I am the fulfillment of that deep longing."

He's urging me, "Look the right way." In essence, look to Him. I admit my deficient attention span when it comes to the distractions all around me.

I know it. I sense it. Deep within the marrow of who I am and at the very center of my core, I long for more. I desire perfection. This is what I was made for - eternity. But I'm a stranger here and the things in this world are waging war against my soul (I Peter 2:11-12). I live in conflict because I live in a fallen state, the depravity of my own flesh, and yet I recognize that perfection will only be attained once I make it to my final, eternal destitination with Most Holy God.

So here in the in-between I struggle with the fulfillment of that deep longing...and that's the very place He urges …
I was about to write this blog on Friday after a very big and very specific answer to prayer. Then time got away from me, I had a very busy weekend, a Miss America party, a garage to clean, and then I got sick. So by the time I got back around to this unfinished draft, I had to stop and ask myself where exactly I was headed. You see, Friday I was singing God's praises, in awe of how He handles the details. By Sunday I was overwhelmed with emotion, but of a different kind.

Feelings are ever-changing. Constantly teasing us with the cycle of highs and lows. But what I've learned in the midst of unreliable emotions is my life rests in an always-reliable, never-changing God.

If I'm honest, I was somewhat surprised at how quickly He gave an answer to something I just started asking for. But why was I surprised? Is He not God? Did He not say for me to ask and seek and I would find? Did He not say the answer would be given? It's not that I was doubtful, or was it? It's n…


As I pause in the present season of my life, all I can do is stand in awe of my Faithful God. I can't begin to express my gratitude for a loving and patient Father who has kept His hand upon me every step of the way. With the twists and bends and ruts in the road, I can look back and see how intentional He's been to carry me when I've needed Him most, yet walk beside me when He knew I needed to stand on my own two feet. When I think about His grace at work in my life, I am undone because His unconditional love and neverending mercies flow freely to a feeble and undeserving life. Praise You, Father.

I'll be the first to admit my weakness. On my own I know I can't keep it together. And even at my "best" I still stumble on my own. I'm so thankful He doesn't leave me in this state. It's never a result of Him leaving me, rather I'm the one who wanders off. Oh, my wandering soul be bound to Thee!

I've learned what it is to be in need - trul…


This time last year I was seeking... Praying to God for His peace and joy. Desiring change and comfort, hopeful for His will to be done and claiming His promises for my life.

"Sometimes my Sovereign hand - My control over your life - places you in humbling circumstances. You long to break free and feel in control of your life once again... When you are suffering, your need for Me is greater than ever. The more you choose to come near to Me, the more you can find hope in My unfailing love. You can even learn to be joyful in hope while waiting in My Presence..." Jesus Today

Truly that's where I found myself at the beginning of last year. But I can honestly say at the start of this year, that prophecy has come true for me. That place of discomfort and brokenness brought me to the place of His Presence where I learned not only my need for Him but also what He required of me. Surrender. My full and complete will. Oh, there was a battle over this. It wasn't just a laying …