Thursday, January 10, 2013

You

As I pause in the present season of my life, all I can do is stand in awe of my Faithful God. I can't begin to express my gratitude for a loving and patient Father who has kept His hand upon me every step of the way. With the twists and bends and ruts in the road, I can look back and see how intentional He's been to carry me when I've needed Him most, yet walk beside me when He knew I needed to stand on my own two feet. When I think about His grace at work in my life, I am undone because His unconditional love and neverending mercies flow freely to a feeble and undeserving life. Praise You, Father.

I'll be the first to admit my weakness. On my own I know I can't keep it together. And even at my "best" I still stumble on my own. I'm so thankful He doesn't leave me in this state. It's never a result of Him leaving me, rather I'm the one who wanders off. Oh, my wandering soul be bound to Thee!

I've learned what it is to be in need - truly in need of His presence in my life. Nothing can compare. The more I learn about Him, the more I know how desperate my life is without Him. Finding my place in this world no longer becomes my aim because He is my focus. If my trajectory is not altered by the way in which I've come, then I'm on the wrong path. Or worse, I may be standing still. Lead me, Lord.

Seeking isn't out of desperation but out of desire. A heart's cry for more. A soul's yearning to be filled. I walk by faith and not by sight. I fix my eyes on the unseen and not the temporal in front of me. Surrendering my will sometimes feels as though I'm losing all control. And rightly so! Because if I am leading the way, then I'm not letting Him lead me. So I trust. I trust in Him with all my heart. I lean not on my own understanding - because, boy oh boy, sometimes I just flat out don't understand. I give Him the plans in my heart and I ask for His purpose to prevail. Work out Your plan, Lord. Your will and not mine. Your loving kindness is better than the very life I live. It is what I seek. You, Lord. Only and always You.

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