This time last year I was seeking... Praying to God for His peace and joy. Desiring change and comfort, hopeful for His will to be done and claiming His promises for my life.
"Sometimes my Sovereign hand - My control over your life - places you in humbling circumstances. You long to break free and feel in control of your life once again... When you are suffering, your need for Me is greater than ever. The more you choose to come near to Me, the more you can find hope in My unfailing love. You can even learn to be joyful in hope while waiting in My Presence..." Jesus Today
Truly that's where I found myself at the beginning of last year. But I can honestly say at the start of this year, that prophecy has come true for me. That place of discomfort and brokenness brought me to the place of His Presence where I learned not only my need for Him but also what He required of me. Surrender. My full and complete will. Oh, there was a battle over this. It wasn't just a laying down on the altar and walking away. I could never learn that easily.
I learned what being joyful In hope meant - having no thought or idea of what was to come, yet wholeheartedly trusting my Father with my shattered heart. I didn't know how He'd do it, but I gave Him every last shred with the faith and assurance He would mend the broken hearted.
I found hope in His unfailing love because I'd already experienced the feeble and fatal attempts at imperfect, shallow human love. It's self-seeking and fallible apart from Him. Oh, thank God He never fails!
My need for Him was great, greater than I'd ever experienced, and having been in the depths of that place where I could do nothing other than seek Him... I found Him. I would never ask for the pain again, but I would do it all over again to get the same result of finding and experiencing my Abba Father.
"Persevere in trusting Me and eventually I will lift you up." Jesus Today
Oh, how true that promise is! See, what I'm learning is this isn't about what I get at the end. It isn't about if I receive an answer to prayer. It's not whether I find peace and experience joy. It's solely and purely about Him. My God. My Strength. My Refuge. My Hope. My Peace. My Joy. All in Him. Nothing a part from my Lord. So seeking peace and joy, or desiring happiness and contentment are all irrelevant. The journey I've been on this past year has brought me to the point of seeing that all that matters is seeking Him. And there, in Him, is more than the deepest desire if any ache my soul might have.
Whatever it is you seek, whatever you desire or lack, I pray you'll come to the point of finding Him. No matter where the journey leads, or how deep the pit sinks where you might find yourself, you're never beyond His reach, never too far from Him finding you. And when He does, He won't just give you what you ask, He will reveal Himself to you. And the very nature of who He is will be exactly what you seek.