The Tenth Avenue North song goes..
There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide
She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"
It might as well be my testimony. I can't really say it any better. It's been a few weeks since I've written because what I'm feeling and experiencing is simply too raw and too deep to share. I've been that girl. The one feeling as though the pit I've fallen into was simply too deep for rescuing. Paralyzed by fear. Compelled to pray but at a loss for words. Recounting choices, replaying decisions. Wondering what's next. Seeking direction. Desiring God's will. Praying for peace. Wanting wisdom.
The song continues:
But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade.
Remade. To make new. More than the choices made - good, bad, reactions, in the heat of the moment, or well though out. More than mistakes - failures, setbacks, upset plans, even deliberate sin. A few weeks ago God gave me this verse in Ezekiel 36:26:
"Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."
I'm breaking my silence today. Not because I have anything profound to share other than what I've experienced: God is the God of making all things new. Whatever your past. Whatever your mistakes. Whatever your problems. Whatever your failures. No matter what you're facing, He's bigger than your circumstance. Do you know who you are? You are His daughter/His son. His child. He has chosen you and called you by name. Your ransom has been paid. You've been redeemed by His sacrifice.
Call upon Him. Come to Him. Cry out to Him. Confess to Him. Be comforted by Him. Be redeemed by Him. Be made new. I don't know what you're facing but I know if my God can see fit to extend His unconditional love and exceptional mercy to even me, I know He can AND WILL do the same for you.