The Middle
You've heard me admit that I need to be needed. Somehow my innate desire to help others can be super imposed as meddling. Oh yes, absolutely infiltrating someone else's situation with what I believe is every ounce of "good intention" has found me in more than one mess that I had no business being in.
As any good "counselor" knows, advice is better left unsaid. Rather, a counselor's role is to ask the probing questions to let the individual uncover his or her own self discovery. So why I still find myself in the middle of situations I do not belong to...it's beyond me.
It doesn't take a master's degree to know that I should leave well enough alone. Let people figure it out on their own. I can't fix everyone else's situation, yet somehow it doesn't stop me from trying. I really cannot give you an answer "why" except the above admission to help. But when will I learn that my feeble human attempt to help untie the woes of another usually makes an even bigger knot?!
(It may be true that this kind of "trouble" always seems to find me...or I find it. It takes turns, I guess, but somehow lands in my lap.)
Maybe this blog will form a support group for "meddlers anonymous" because someone just shared with me her own struggle to find validity in helping others, only it usually results in the same kind of mess. This isn't true for every circumstance. Surely there are times where our good advice and prayers contribute to the friends we're trying so desperately to help. But catch what I said: advice and prayers.
It's one thing to share some words of wisdom, say a prayer for or with someone, offer continued encouragement and even a listening ear. It's quite another to roll up your sleeves and dig through the dirt pile in someone else's life. Don't get me wrong. There are friends I will take with me as priceless treasures because of the mud and muck they've endured with me. But dare I think for one second that I can play a more important role in someone's life than that of the Holy Spirit...shame on me!
I will probably always battle the urge to "help," which for me translates as "fixing." But being controlled and lead by the Spirit in my own life will surely help me understand my place - and it is NOT in the middle controlling someone else's circumstance!
As any good "counselor" knows, advice is better left unsaid. Rather, a counselor's role is to ask the probing questions to let the individual uncover his or her own self discovery. So why I still find myself in the middle of situations I do not belong to...it's beyond me.
It doesn't take a master's degree to know that I should leave well enough alone. Let people figure it out on their own. I can't fix everyone else's situation, yet somehow it doesn't stop me from trying. I really cannot give you an answer "why" except the above admission to help. But when will I learn that my feeble human attempt to help untie the woes of another usually makes an even bigger knot?!
(It may be true that this kind of "trouble" always seems to find me...or I find it. It takes turns, I guess, but somehow lands in my lap.)
Maybe this blog will form a support group for "meddlers anonymous" because someone just shared with me her own struggle to find validity in helping others, only it usually results in the same kind of mess. This isn't true for every circumstance. Surely there are times where our good advice and prayers contribute to the friends we're trying so desperately to help. But catch what I said: advice and prayers.
It's one thing to share some words of wisdom, say a prayer for or with someone, offer continued encouragement and even a listening ear. It's quite another to roll up your sleeves and dig through the dirt pile in someone else's life. Don't get me wrong. There are friends I will take with me as priceless treasures because of the mud and muck they've endured with me. But dare I think for one second that I can play a more important role in someone's life than that of the Holy Spirit...shame on me!
I will probably always battle the urge to "help," which for me translates as "fixing." But being controlled and lead by the Spirit in my own life will surely help me understand my place - and it is NOT in the middle controlling someone else's circumstance!
That is me Im always trying to "help"!!! Thanks for the well needed reminder don't meddle!!!
ReplyDeleteWe'll start that support club! :)
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