I apologize in advance that this will not be an uplifting and inspirational blog, but rather my open forum to vent. It's my blog and I can do what I want.
Are you ready for this? I'm about to admit something to you. I like attention. Shocker, I know. Let me phrase it a different way - I enjoy people. I like being able to make people laugh. I like getting a reaction. I enjoy helping others. I get involved with people. Sometimes when and where I shouldn't. But I thrive on the energy I get from being with and sharing with people. Let me share...
In first grade one of my classmates forgot his lunch money and was in tears. I took it upon myself to take this student by the hand and march him promptly to the teacher where I asked what exactly we could do for him.
In 5th grade I got a note sent home from my choir teacher asking my mom what we were going to do with me, the "social butterfly." As much as I loved to sing, I loved to talk too and I simply couldn't keep from socializing during chorus practice.
In 7th grade I was painfully aware of my awkward "gangly" stage but that didn't stop me from standing up to the foot-taller bully who was cussing out a kid. This landed me slammed up against the lockers, but that "bully" turned into my friend by the time we were in high school.
In high school, I was a leader in the youth group so it shouldn't have surprised me when the youth pastor asked me to reach out to a girl who had visited and felt ignored. "Why is it my responsibility?" I asked. "Because if you befriend her, everyone else will accept her and since you didn't reach out to her the first time, this is what I want you to do," he responded. Smh. He was right.
Traveling with ministry teams in college I found I had two "gifts." First, I could walk into a church/youth group/new setting and immediately find myself in the center of a group. Second, I had the amazing ability to learn and remember names. While I enjoyed gathering the crowd and getting to know them and feeding off their energy, I was keenly aware of the awkward kid who stood in the back and refused to join the group. That kid was my mission. I took it upon myself to seek her or him out, learn their name, and get them to open up.
So you see, I do like attention. But not what some people are assuming is attention about me. Today I posted a video giving a scarf tutorial at the request of several friends who just wanted to know how to wear a scarf. That turned into requests for makeup and hair tips, too. Of course I will. But not because I want to see myself on video or think I'm the only one on the planet who knows how to wear a scarf or apply eyeshadow. No. Purely because I help. I fix. I serve. I do. (Lest we forget how this habit also lands me in trouble?!)
It's like I said. I thrive on being with others. I've been told I have a "magnetic" personality but I don't think I attract people, I think I am drawn to them. I draw energy from people. And I recognize my calling is to encourage and inspire those around me.
While I usually try to stay pretty positive, I admit that I am frustrated. I've just about had it with the comments and assumptions about me, my blog, my profile, my tweets... If you don't like my Facebook profile, unfriend me. If my status updates concern you, remove them from your newsfeed. If you have a problem with my tweets, unfollow me. If the blog bothers you, unsubscribe.
As long as there's social media, I have a forum to share. It doesn't mean you have to read it or follow it. Just don't stifle this social butterfly from spreading her wings.