Have you seen the movie "The Holiday"? I'm not condoning any themes or plots, but the part I am referring to specifically is when Cameron Diaz's character can't cry. Try as she might, she can't get the tears to come. In yet another vulnerable moment I confess to you how similar this is to me. There have even been recent situations that should have evoked tears, and others that should have brought on a cry-fest. Yet, even though I can't deny having teared up at times, I rarely experience this release of emotions through crying.
All of that leads me to the fact that having downloaded Kari Jobe's new album "Where I Find You" I was getting ready as the songs played through. Yesterday I shared the title song in my blog, literally having it on repeat all day, so I neglected to get through the rest of the album.
And then it happened. "What Love Is This" started to play and without so much as a warning, I find myself overcome with emotions, tears immediately streaming, and I can barely stand. (So much for having just applied my eye makeup...) This was the point of no return and I figured since it rarely comes, I would embrace whatever expression of tears needed to fall.
The song is beautiful in and of itself, but the line that so gripped my heart - and I suppose what brought the onslaught of this sudden emotional train wreck - was "I confess you're always enough for me, You're all I need."
This has been my prayer over and over "God, be enough. Be all I need." And now the words of this song were echoing the cry of my heart. To confess with your mouth and believe in your heart - that is the prayer of Salvation. But to bring Him my broken heart and confess that He's enough for me, that's the place I've been striving to reach.
I don't even know what that looks or feels like. I just know that "enough" is all I need. Some days it's more than others. Some days I need tangible demonstrations of His love and presence in my life. Other days I'm satisfied with simply resting in the knowledge of who He is to me. Either way, I want Him to always be enough - all that I need.
What love is this, that you gave your life for me
And made a way for me to know you
And I confess you're always enough for me
You're all I need